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I had a lie in this morning got up late and I was shaking in my boots as I knew I was going to be graded for my third year at my university. I felt like this was going to decide me future. *shaking with fear* When my mum went to her therapist I watched Friends in the living room and my dad came back from hospital after they checked his broken finger then at 12:00pm my grades came through and...I passed everything! WOOHOO!!! even the dissertation didn't fail and that's my weak point! not bad for someone who's education wasn't like the average person. Anyway after that I had spaghetti hoops and sausages and watched Once Upon a Time with mum (we're beginning the 3rd season now) and it's getting good so far. When I found mum was doing her nails instead of walking the dog with me I decided to go to my room and paint a fierce car which came out really well! I recorded the process so you guys can see it soon and tell me what you think. After that I had tea and relaxed for a while then chatted to my grandma on the phone and told her about my grade and she was happy for me. That's all I can tell for now but still it was a great day. Bye for now.
When I woke up it was already close to 8:30am so I got up and discovered my old cat Eevee had been sick again so I cleared that up before I went to have breakfast and everything when I did that I watched Friends in the living room while my mum went to the dentist when she came back I went back to bed until mum told me she was going out to dinner with dad, who recently broke his finger at football. I watched Friends in the free living room for a while as I was doing my computer updates and eating my snacks then my parents came home and I went out with mum to post a book we sold and we went to the place where mum had treatment for her poorly feet. When we came home I cooked myself some makerels for my dinner with mash potato (which made the house sink of fish!) then I went to my room to do more updates and I'm planning to relax for the rest of the evening. Well I can't think of any more to say so bye for now.
I went to see my therapist this morning to talk about my thoughts then she said it's because I don't want to be a bad person like the ones I'm thinking of in my mind and it allows me to know that I'm not like them. So that really helped as the way I feel about those thoughts is what makes me me and it makes me feel loads better about it. After that I went to town to pick up a BBQ chicken wrap and free soup which was delicious. ^^ When I came home I went for a nice walk with my mum and her dog Lily and I told her what my therapist said about our talk. When we walked back we watched a bit of Once upon a time then. When we came back I had some snacks and went to my room while my mum took a phone call and did some updates. Now I'm cooking roast dinner for myself and I'll try to crack on with some jobs to do now. Well that's it for now. Bye then.
Today I was a lot more happier today because as each day passes I get more happy which is a good sign after what I've been though this week. I decided the best way to stay awake instead of resting in bed today was to drink lots of water which worked I'm glad to say. Me and mum, while I was having breakfast, watched a facinating documentry about Temple Grandin on BBC iTV and I learned lots about how she interacts with her animals especially cattle. She has what you call a squeeze box that calms you by squeezing you when you're stressed. I have a similar technique with my cat Eevee because when I stroke her it lowers my blood preasure and calms me down too. It really helps people like me who suffer from autism thank goodness. After that I went out with mum to M&S to buy and look at some nice looking clothes then we went to Hobbycraft where I bought some acrylic paper for when I paint. When we came home I had my left-over pizza which was tasty, then me and mum watched another episode of Once Upon a Time again which is getting very interesting now. I now know there's a Once Upon a Time in Wonderland which I'm really excited about watching when me and mum have the time. Now I've got to paint some fantasy creatures for Feel the Force Day in September and I have to add a lot of detail to those artworks. I'll be seeing my therapist tomorrow and talk to her about how I'm feeling about my bad thoughts so that should help at least. Well that's all I can tell for now. Later then.
I started the day trying to be happy with what’s going on in my head while I finally painted the working bench for my animation set then I went to M&S with my mum to shop for some clothes. After that we came back and I had a little kip then got up and made my pizza dough at 3:00pm while me and mum watched Once Upon a Time then I saved the rest of my pizza for tomorrow’s lunch. I managed to download Maya (a CGI animation software) and use it but I couldn’t save the things I created in it as a PSD (Photoshop file) file of it to put onto After Effects because everytime I tried Photoshop crashed forcing me to close it. I’ll keep trying but for now with my skills I’m going to make a list of things I can do with animation and things I’m not so good at so I can show it at Feel the Force Day in September soon. So I’ll try the animation skills I plan to learn from the tutorials on Youtube that can help me. Well that’s all for now. Bye.
Nothing went planned today! I was supposed to do cool stuff today but instead I was sick and had to stay in bed until I was well again so I couldn’t paint the work bench or visit my friend Debbie! >< After I came out of bed I had a honey sandwich and some snacks but I became upset thinking bad thoughts again obviously because my medication wasn’t working I felt like hell. Then I wanted my mum who, at that time, was out busy doing something but luckly my brother Alex came round after I had my tea to have a chat with me and my dad which cheered me up as I haven’t seen him for a long while and it made up for my bad day. When he left I did some sculpturing for my Sealion episodes which was ok I guess. I had turkey escalopes and beans for dinner but I’m still upset with what’s going on as I’m still thinking of those horrible thoughts about bad or horrid people from TV shows or movies that completely distract me from the good stuff that happens to me. Why did I have to have Chrones Disease and Autism at the same time?! Anyway I hope tomorrow will be better to you my fans and I will try to be happy if I can. Bye for now.
Today I got up and had breakfast then when I was at the point where I tried doing some sculpturing using dad’s help in drilling holes into the wooden blocks to add the wire and mold over it but I decided against it all as it meant getting dad to help me each time I make a model. >< So from now on I’m just gonna do modeling when I’m animating and nothing more and also the medias of art will include things that don’t require anyone elses help as that’d be difficult. Anyway I had a little rest for a few hours after I had my lunch with snacks and when I woke up I decided to paint a dinosaur when it was finished I wasn’t as pleased with it as I thought I’d be because of trying the new chalk brush I thought it would work out better but it’s a learning process after all. I also put my stuff for sculpturing like wires and wooden blocks into my dad’s garage and will not touch them unless I want to use them again but I’ll give it 10 years. I had chicken dippers for tea and relaxed in my room watching my favorite TV shows that I love. I guess my bad thoughts are still the same but I just gotta keep myself occupied that’s all. So that’s everything now I gotta crack on with my preperations for my part at Feel the Force Day in September. ^^
Today me and my mum went shopping to M&S and Hobbycraft where I bought a cutting board and two tubes of paint. While we did this my dad was finishing my wardrobe by adding poles to them so I can hang up my shirts and coats as it didn’t come with them. I painted the background for my new animations for “Sealion & Friends” to test with and stuck it on the window next to the working bench but unfortunately mum said I couldn’t paint the bench today because of the weather so that was a bummer... I also painted the igloo for the scene that I plan to make as well. After that I went to town to pick up a chicken wrap with BBQ sauce, (delicious!) came home from the pouring rain and drank some coffee to keep me awake while watching Friends before mum and dad came back from their meal out. While dad was finishing the wardrobe me and mum watched The Agony & the Ecstasy which was about the famous artist Michelangelo apparently he had autism like me which was why he was so driven. Then when dad called me saying I can put my clothes in my new wardrobe that he finished I did that and it looks great now, it looks like there’s more room where I live now! Me and mum finished watching The Agony & the Ecstasy and I loved it as it influenced me as an artist. By the way what got me really happy today was that mum booked a table for me at the Feel the Force Day Convention so I can display my art and animations there! when that’s done we’re going to go to other Feel the Force Day conventions like the ones in London to get my name out there and I’m really excited about learning and how I can probably get interviewed with my career and all. ^^ Well that’s all for today let’s hope it goes well for tomorrow too. Bye for now.
I slept better today but despite that I was still was upset with my bad thoughts but when I went to my friend Helen’s today she gave me and mum the most wonderful idea of setting up a table for displaying my artwork at some disability conventions or festivals like Feel the Force Day so people can see the things I paint there. Good job we went to Helen’s! So now what mum’s going to do is book a table at the Feel the Force day convention I look forward to all the places to display my artworks! After we came home dad put together my wardrobe and I had a little rest in mum’s bed while she and dad had a meeting with someone then mum got me up at 4:00pm and I had my squid for dinner which my mum hated as it meant taking the guts out and frying it. I had the squid with mash potato and beans then after that I put my things including my books, awards and accessories on the shelves and now it looks good. What mum and dad have to do now is buy a few poles for hanging my coats and shirts there, as the wardrobe didn’t come with them, and it’ll be completed! I love how that’s coming to be. I did suffer from my bad thoughts again today thanks to my stupid autism(!) and maybe the miserable weather didn’t help either but I’m a bit happier now at least. So now I’m thinking of painting something again which you guys will probably see some time. Bye for now.
So I got up with a bad start waking up thinking bad thoughts even though I should be a happy lady for day, I then went to my theripist who I talked to about my bad start and played with her lovely cats. My dad then picked me up from my theripist’s house and we went straight to the guy who bought my old computer chair for over £200 after that we went to IKEA in Nottingham to have lunch (I had meatballs), then we got a refund for the mirror and parts of my new wardrobe that weren’t in good condition for £145. For pudding I had 4 squares of milkybar and finally me and my dad went to Wollaton Hall to see the deer park and gift shop where we had a great time talking about expensive equipment for my art and animation projects. Dad suggested to go on sites where you can personalize greeting cards to get myself out there, he also said that making an intro video for my Youtube channel isn’t worth it because you gotta give what your audience want (thank goodness I checked with him!). We walked all the way around the deer park then found the car park afterwards and I listened to my music all the way back home and when we got back I had snacks for dinner while watching Once Upon a Time with my mum while she was ironing. I think today went really well as me and my dad will do this hopefully once a month together and build that bound between us. So now that’s over I think I need an early night as I’m feeling tired and a tad agitated. Zzzz....